Friday, December 5, 2008

It's war (handsomeness war)

First of all, i'd like to say that while i completely condone homosexuality and the various activities and pursuits that lie within such genetic inheritances/lifestyle choices/sexual orientations, i'm not gay and i don't intend on becoming gay as a result of the following post or during any time between my birth and/or death.
With that said, i think that Jay-z is waaaayyy hotter than Jim Jones, and i have the statistics to prove it.
Jim Jones doesn't think so though.

In a recent interview with some magazine, the Dipset ringleader and notorious bigmouth let his ego take the mic and proceeded to make statements like:

"I can model and do the business"
"He’s [Jay-z] not that savvy, not that fly"

and my favourite

"All he has is a gorgeous flow—my momma raised a gorgeous child".

Now, i'm all for arrogance but i'm not down for arrogance that isn't due. And this shit is so not due that it almost does a complete 360 and becomes due again. You can't just hang out with Dame Dash for a couple of years, release one catchy radio hit and a mediocre album and start talking all reckless against the god mc. A little bit of Hip-Hop died when Jim Jones started talking and dressing the way he does so i'm going to set the story straight with my newly invented and completely copyrighted 'Tyson Beckford meter of Rapper Hotness'. It basically uses Tyson Beckford as the prime example of how someone in the model industry should look, and how Jim Jones and Jay-z compare when pitted against such perfection. Once more, I'm not gay.

And there you have it, the most unbiased and totally relevant comparison of Jay-z and Jim Jones that you will ever see. I think my method is best suited to two males working in the same industry when one thinks that he his hotter than the other. Feel free to use it, but be careful, it's disturbingly accurate. Now excuse me while i go and cut some trees down.

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